Wow me with your werrrrds November 12, 2008

So…i should probably just re-name this site to “the many reasons i will never do online dating.”  just because i’m NOT looking for someone online doesn’t i’ve curbed my obsession with reading online profiles.  today, i went to my latest fave: craigslist.  i had been casually checking the site out, and then started to notice some trends.

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trend 1 = people who post multiple posts in one day.
I get that sometimes people post every other day or so, but multiple times in a day is just a little excessive, isn’t it?  and each time they re-post, the profile changes just a wee bit, but still comes across with the same message.  And then there are the ones that completely change.  Which brings me to trend 2.

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trend 2 = people who change their profiles to make themselves seem more appealing.
i saw one guy post his profile so many different ways, but with the same pictures and a word changed here or there, that it just kind of made me sad.  what about the poor girl who stumbles across profile change #57 and thinks she’s met “the one,” but the wise reader (*ahem* me!) knows that that person has obsessively tweaked their profile more times than a junky takes a hit?  this one guy who i guess wasn’t getting any responses completely changed his profile to say that he was an out-of-towner who didn’t know English and was looking to make American friends.  iiiiinteresting.  because just a few posts before that, he was speaking perfect english and using some pretty derogatory language.  i guess he figured out women don’t respond positively to that.  hmmm, go figure

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trend 3 = the guys who want it all.
everyone deserves the best.  but i don’t get guys who have all these CRAZY restrictions and expectations.  For example, I took this one right off good ole CL: “You need to be slim (i.e. dress size of 8 or less; probably less and as you’re busty the lower part of your body is probably less than a dress size 8 . .. some special exceptions apply if you’re slender and really busty . .. dress size 8 is pretty much the limit unless you have some very special exception and being big boned doesn’t count. HA!) with good skin, good teeth and a very pretty face. Your hair color is optional. Your legs should be shapely. Bonus if long. Flat tummy. Nice bone structure all around. Thin back with the spinal bone showing is a bonus. Shapely ass. Race optional but white or white-looking is preferred.” It’s like he wants a barbie, basically.

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i hate to be a negative nelly, but maybe their high expectations are the reason they’re single…i mean, this guy didn’t even post his picture.  10 to 1 says he isn’t even cute enough to be as demanding as he is.

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so i guess it comes down to me being a skeptic about the honesty and crassness of men, and these ads aren’t helping the cause.  the funny thing is, the two men i met from online sites were completely honest about everything.  but i’m beginning to think i lucked out, and there are a lot more smarmy folks in the world than i originally thought.