sap-tastic November 3, 2008

let me just start by saying that i am not a mushy person.  sure, i’m tickled when someone goes out of their way and does something sweet for me, but i’m honestly just not used to it.  in high school, i had to TELL my boyfriend over and over that i didn’t want anything because he kept saying he didn’t know what to get me for my birthday.  it go so bad that i finally just told him to get me a single flower.

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I really like this orange-y red flower, but didn’t know the exact name of it, so i just told him to get me an orange rose.

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he ended up getting me an orange daisy…

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it’s not that he didn’t try, but it was just so odd that he went for a completely different flower.  and that was the general way every other relationship i had went.  sweet attempts at affection that were probably borrowed from past relationships because they were never quite something i liked.

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other than that foibled high school attempt, i’ve never really had a guy who went out of his way to surprise me.  so tonight, when i was stumbled across this show that was doing a special on surprise engagements, i had to admit that my curiosity was piqued.

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this guy flew his girlfriend out to paris for a “vacation,” and planned this crazy elaborate proposal.  he knew her so well; he knew she would want a private proposal, he knew her dresses hadn’t been tailored yet so he brought it to get tailored without her knowing it, and then he flew her whole family out there and didn’t tell her.  on the way to the cathedral, she started crying because she wanted her family to be there to see her get married.  as they got closer to the cathedral, she spotted her waving family and started crying even harder.

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it was so amazing how much he just got her.  if i met a guy who could make me cry that much with his sweetness (rather than by being a jerk or a d-bag), i’d marry him in a heartbeat.  but maybe that’s WHY i haven’t met that guy yet – i’m NOT ready to marry.  But i guess they say when you meet the one, you’ll know.  as for now, i maintain that i’m not ready.

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and it’s not like i’m unrealistic and think that EVERY guy is like the guy on that show.  in fact, i know most guys AREN’T like that guy on the show, and i wouldn’t expect them to be.  but i can’t help but hope to inspire that kind of love and affection in another person one day; where they know me so well inside and out, where their simple gestures can move me to tears, where they know when i’m having a bad day and can instantly make it better just by being there.

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okay, okay….sap-tastic post over!  over and out. 

the fundamental difference between men and women October 30, 2008

here is an excerpt of a conversation i had with a friend. it kinda knocked my socks off, how much we THINK we know about the opposite sex, only to be proven WRONG time and again. This was the man she dated for about a year, and she’s telling me about the last conversation they had:

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her: “he’s seeing someone. super religious. so he basically isn’t going to get any. and he tells me now that he has her, he wants me, but if he had me, he’d want her”

her: and he asks if wanna hook up still

me: !!!!!!!!!

her: he’s trying to use me

me: what the crippity crap?!

her: so i tell him hell no and i say, can you even attempt to be decent to this girl you’re dating?
and get this he says “like you really care about her. you don’t even know her.”

her: “well, i know how to be a DECENT person! and i know i wouldn’t want anyone doing this to me”
he says “you’re right.. you’re a nice person. but hey, just wanted to put it out there. if you change your mind, i’m totally up for it.”

that’s when i knew i despised him.

the converstaion we last had was so messed up
i told him i didnt wanna be friends anymore

her: and he was like “no! don’t do that, that’ll make me want you even more”

her: he wants what he can’t have.

me: wtf is WRONG with guys?!?!?

her: then he said, “maybe you want guys you can’t have either, that’s why you like me”

and i said “no, i don’t have problems like you do”

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Is it always about sex with guys? sex and the chase? Seriously? This is someone he cried over, someone he said he could see himself marrying, degrading her to a useless “friend with benefits.” she was so shocked, because he literally was the most decent guy she had ever met, with strong morals and genuine care for others. but apparently he showed a whole different side of himself once they broke up.

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it scares me that people can be so different than how they portray themselves. i’m so honest and in your face about who i am that i never stop to think that people around me could be creating personas left and right.

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i’m just wondering if men and women will ever want the same things. It’s so easy to say that the spark is what drew you to someone, but what about after that? After you find out that that person is NOT who you thought they were? Do you dismiss the spark, or do you simply fall victim to “you can’t help who you love”? I don’t get it, love is so illogical.